A Field Trip First & Other Pre-Christmas Moments Roundup

When Tony started his transition into the public school environment during what age-wise was his sixth grade year, I wasn’t sure the degree to which he would acclimate to certain things. I was confident we could help him develop tolerance for a typical school day, but assemblies or field trips? I wasn’t sure he’d ever be comfortable attending assemblies, nor most field trips. So two Christmases ago as we were starting this transition journey, I declined participation in the annual field trip to the Kiwanis Christmas Party. A different environment, lots of kids, lots of noise…I didn’t see it succeeding yet two years ago. I would like you to bear in mind that many things we do to help him gain tolerance for environments or skills are progressions. Though it is easier for some to work with a disabled individual that doesn’t need that degree of preparation or support, when his needs are met with the provision of a slowly paced progression, he can rise to the occasion for many things that otherwise wouldn’t happen without that work or support. This has increased his ability to access the community and to find happiness in things so many people take for granted.

This year, as he’s started attending all assemblies calmly, I thought he could succeed at the annual Kiwanis Christmas Party with support from me. He was as ready as we could get him without actually trying it. The thing is, some skills can only be practiced in a particular environment experiencing the actual event so there’s never a guarantee about how something like this will go for him in advance. And people can get more nervous about a kiddo Tony’s size with some of his clinical history going into a new, noisy, crowded environment that a certain amount of decorum really needs to be expected in. I felt, again, reasonably confident that I would be able to help him through it, and his teacher agreed. So this year we loaded up on the bus and went.

I was really pleased overall with how it went. He did make two attempts to run through the back doors into the quieter parts of the building, but he was very responsive to returning right away . He didn’t tolerate waiting in a line up for the class picture near the speakers but was calm about it and easily redirected back to the chairs. Otherwise, when his teacher and I talked about how he did afterwards, her feedback was that she didn’t see him do anything that should have excluded him from being there. And that was a beautiful gift this holiday season.

Equally as joyous were the hours Hannah and I spent decorating gingerbread houses and attending the Nutcracker. These are things we try to do in some way every year, but they are incredibly meaningful to me. She and I spent time picking out a nutcracker for the tree as we do every year (this year’s is pictured). She wanted one with the rainbow flag, I wanted one that represented her brother’s skin tone so that he can see elements similar to who he is honored in our holiday traditions visually, so she helped me find one that combined both. No therapy strategies needed, just time spent in traffic and waiting in a line of cars to leave a parking garage, those parts made pleasant only by the company, lol.

For me, the greatest gifts I have every year remain the loved ones in my life. Yet being given the opportunity to help a child with profound challenges gain skills that will help him continue to grow into the community as a participating member is something to cherish as well. I remain grateful to Tony’s current school district every day for the opportunities they have given us to help their team and him succeed in this transition. And I am honored as always that Hannah has chosen to spend so much of her time at the ballet and doing all sorts of decorating and last minute tree shopping with me. Now that she’s legally an adult, it’s something to never take for granted. On that note, I wish each of you happy moments this holiday season and cherished time with those you love <3