To the sweetheart from my allergist’s office, Anonymous online but not in my heart
I beg that you would never think for even a second that the brevity of this note signifies anything to cheapen how much a single moment could mean. For saying to me that I deserved to be a patient at that office and that I was worth it, I honestly still want to cry because you have no idea what that meant to me then in that moment and you have no idea what it means to me now. Let’s just leave it then at this means so much more to me than I can say right now. Thank you. And a virtual hug <3
Some Reading And Viewing To Consider
When The Body Says No, Understanding The Stress-Disease Connection, (Nook Version) by Gabor Mate, M.D.
So, I think this book can pretty much be summed up by quoting the title of a post I wrote approximately three years ago: “The Stress Will Mess You Up.” Released first in 2003, the author examines all of the many ways a high-stress life will cause your health to crash and burn. And high-stress is indeed the way we roll here at the Quiet Crisis Next Door. This connection is critical to understand especially as a caregiver with limited supports, because people in this position have to put a great deal of extra mental effort into dedicating stolen bits of time to protective self-care measures, whatever that looks like on an individual level. And protective measures can certainly help provide healing and/or prevention, as the author briefly examines in the final chapter.
I feel that when health care providers look at whether or not a condition might be caused by depression, anxiety, or high-stress, if they can check off the “yes” box, they far too often can treat the patient as if they are wasting precious time and medical resources. Nothing about giving a patient the impression that if only they could only just get their mental crap together better they wouldn’t be there is healing. Nothing. And yet, the fact remains that whatever is causing a person’s individual health challenges, a medical problem does indeed exist and no amount of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” is going to magically make that go away. In fact, I think it may have the opposite effect. And, I know for me personally, I kind of feel like if anybody were dropped into my circumstances over the past several years and had to live every last bit of it, they wouldn’t have a thing left to say to me about how I should be holding myself together better…so I just let that slide off of me these days, and if you are in similar circumstances, I hope you can find a way to do that too.
And for those of you that are not a caregiver, I am sure we all know that there are many paths to a high-stress life. So I think it is important to heed the message of this book and do what you can to take care of yourself, which is why it is recommended reading.
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Rosaura Visram’s “Maquillajes Completos en Modelos” Playlist
A few months ago I committed to putting something together for our family showing my make up process. Totally didn’t get that done, and part of the boundaries I am putting up to protect the time I need to nurture my own health right now is to admit that I really don’t have the time to do that for the time being. In recommending both of these channels, I want you to know I am not telling you to embrace individual products they use, but to pay attention to the process. Products are a matter of personal preference and in some cases what you can afford. For example, I know some people swear by Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara (certainly it is not I think) and IT Cosmetics Superhero Mascara (should have listened to Edna and said “no” to the cape in my opinion). They are both two of my least favorite mascaras because they leave me with a wretched amount of flaky fallout. And, you can achieve sometimes very nice results from lower price point products. The green eye shadow look this paragraph is wrapped around was achieved using BH. So, for family and friends, you can privately ask me for recommendations that fit your budget if you need that, but keep in mind that often the same product will work differently on different skin types, and sometimes there is a necessary process of trial and error for what works best for you.
And, as the above mentioned sweetheart from my allergist’s office pointed out, everyone seems to have a little bit of something different they do when it comes to technique. My eye prep routine for example is not only a bit different from anything I’ve seen on YouTube, it is specifically designed to allow me to pack on the shimmer, color, and metallics and have those last all day…even if I’m chasing Tony around for a few hours a day in the heat outside. Most of you don’t need the kind of durability or all day color saturation I want.
There are a lot of beauty YouTubers I watch who create content that I really enjoy, so in recommending these two channels I am not trying to discount anybody else, I am merely saying they are good places to start for family and friends that are wanting to learn some techniques. Both have tutorials for makeup application for different age groups, and this is important because techniques will often need to be adjusted the older a person gets. Rosaura’s playlist is in Spanish, just a heads up on that. And, for my sisters-in-law specifically, when you are done with that, some of you may vibe with Glitzy Fritzy more at the end of the day, so perhaps check out her channel if you feel like you want some extra resources.
Own Your Face, Tedx Talk by Robert Hoge
I feel like I can not send any of you into the beauty world of YouTube without first recommending each of you also watch this. I love what Mr. Hoge says at the end of his talk, and I would hope each and every one of us could find a way to write this on our hearts and really feel it. He says, “Owning is choosing. Choose to accept your face. Choose to appreciate your face…Understand all the love, and the life, and the pain that is part of your face, that is the art of your face.” Makeup is an art to me, it is not a way to say that how I look without these products is not enough, nor should it be for each of you.
