You and I were talking many years ago it feels like at this point, and you were telling me how you could tell that I spoke sweetly to Hannah because she always spoke sweetly to you while you were watching her, and you thanked me for the way I was raising her. I was always so grateful for that moment of tender recognition, just as I was grateful for the phone conversation we had a couple years after that where you noted how thankful you were to see that your son was so happy in his marriage to me.

The truth is, our sweet Andy is the way he is I think because he was raised by a very kind woman. I owe much of my ability to feel safe in this or any other relationship to the tender kindness that was instilled in him from you. At the time he and I were dating and for several years into our marriage, I couldn’t handle being touched in certain ways without having flashbacks. In fact, my former therapist was so concerned about me having a panic attack on our wedding night that she gave me her cell phone and told me to call her no matter what time it was. I never needed to, because always Andy gently respected my boundaries, held me softly when I couldn’t fight down the past, and never saw or treated me as broken. Thank you for being the mother you were as you were raising him and the mother you will always be to him.

You and I didn’t even meet until Andy and I were engaged, and even then it was because you had to rescue us because his truck died on the way back to our side of town from the Renaissance festival. But from that moment on, you treated me like part of your family, and I have always been thankful for that. You came to help take care of Hannah as a baby when I was struggling to recover from my c-section, and you came at a moment’s notice just a couple years later to help care for her without asking questions I was too heartbroken to answer that time I had lost enough blood I couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time. You always looked for ways to try and help Tony feel loved and involved when we were able to visit with him. Because showering your family with kindness and service has always been part of the gift of love you freely give.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being such a fabulous mother and grandmother.