When Hannah asked me if she could write regular posts for our family’s blog, I supported her but have given her the option of taking time off if she needs to. Typically she writes her posts over the weekend before they run because of the time demands for schooling during the week. This past Saturday night she came down with a bit of a stomach bug, and after some vomiting asked me if I could fill in for her this month. I love and support her and my ultimate goal is for her to feel that with everything I do, so of course I said yes.

Sickness is never fun, but I dread it more than I used to. When Hannah gets sick, none of Tony’s needs lessen, and I am not always able to step in and be that amazing nurturer I would like to be for her. Yes, I cleaned out puke bowls, pinned back her hair, and tried to do the very best I could to provide comfort and support. But if Tony starts trying to bang his head into the tile, or starts whacking the window in frustration…I have to step away from her and ensure his safety. Sometimes she has to wait for my help because she’s better able to. I think a lot about how it could feel being the one who has to wait most of the time.

I strive to be fair in general, and I’ve said this before and nothing about it has changed: it isn’t possible for me to be fair with my time. And sometimes it’s not possible for me to be fair with the help I give to the children I cherish with everything that is in me. I can’t do everything, but being such a wordy girl, I can step in and provide this window into our world for her. A world that can’t be fair- but a world that is filled with love.

*If you are not one of my e-mail subscribers, please continue reading for my monthly Gratitude & Reading post, which will still be following this as scheduled.  Thank you! 🙂