To Ms. B, Tony’s Sweet ST, For Insane Amounts of Patience

If someone were to ask me who I think has the hardest job on Tony’s therapy team, there is no doubt it would be Ms. B.  Not only is she having to work with Tony on some of the skills he’s least interested in cooperating with another person on (any type of socially motivated communication), but she has to do so in a clinic setting. Ms. B, you and I both know what that has been like. I know things have been steadily improving bit by bit, but still…Thank you for not quitting.

For nearly a year now, you have showed extraordinary patience as we have been trying to swim through one wave after another of maladaptive task avoidance behaviors during speech therapy.  I can’t tell you enough how much it means to me that you’ve never once said anything that made either he or I feel badly about any of his more dramatic moments.  I am beyond grateful that you listen to my suggestions and recommendations for how to help him function better in that setting.   I know sometimes I can be a lot to deal with that way- your graciousness and positive attitude are deeply appreciated.

What you do, Ms. B, matters to our whole family- especially on the harder days. Thank you for making a difference in, and a contribution to, my son’s world.

Some Reading to Consider

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, by Amy Morin

After Andy read our family Ms. Morin’s article on gratitude (referenced in one of my November posts), I decided to do a little reading up on who she was and what her other works were.  I am geeky that way. And, as I am always interested in improving my mental strength and resilience game, decided to devote a bit of time to reading this book.  I don’t have anything deep or expansive to say about it…I simply recommend it.  I found the book to be insightful and well-written.  Typically, this is the time of year in our country that many people pick (and far too often abandon) goals to work on for the upcoming year, but the first battle for any success has to be won in the mind.  I think this is a great book for providing guidance in how to set the groundwork for that.

Hannah’s Posts Returning February

Hannah has been busy finding ways to relax and enjoy her winter holidays whenever possible, and has let me know that she would like to write her next post in February.  I want to both honor her and her request.  Although she and I are different thinkers, and I can not replace her distinct voice, I would like to plead for a few minutes more of your time to share a mother’s window into her world.  

Frequently there are plenty of curtains I put around Hannah’s experiences when I write on my blog because I care deeply about respecting her right to craft her own public story.  However, I also want to make sure that she’s represented as much as she wants to be in my writing because she is just as inextricably melded into every fiber of my heart as Tony is.  So, I have asked her permission to share a little bit about her trip to visit the ocean this past fall with her dad.

A little over a year ago our family had taken a trip to Disneyland.  That is mostly a subject of a future post, but it must make a brief appearance here because initially the plan had been to stop by the ocean on the last day for Hannah.  However, Tony was having a really hard time on that final day and I painfully had to ask once again for her to defer until later something that mattered deeply to her.

After a great deal of discussion, the decision was made to send just her with Andy to the beach for a couple of days.  Three months ago, nearly a year after we had to scrap the initial visit to the seaside, our girl was able to have her time running through the waves and the sand.  They stopped at all of her favorite fast food restaurants on the way there and back.  We skyped. Andy sent me pictures.  My emotions were a pile of smashed bricks.  I was thrilled she was getting to have these experiences and used that as mortar to hold together the parts of me that were crumbling because Tony and I couldn’t be there.  And when she came back, I hugged her and that gratitude as tightly to my chest as I could.