Ariana's Posts

Maybe This Ain’t Your Mama’s Stress

Maybe this looks like any moment you might see for anybody this time of year, but this is the first walk Tony has ever kept a hat on his head for most of it, and he’s nearly 12. A kiddo with extreme sensory differences and tactile defensiveness may have struggles most people can’t imagine. Photos by Ariana.

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2 thoughts on “Maybe This Ain’t Your Mama’s Stress

  1. Thank you for this thoughtful, sensitive (to others) discussion of that huge gap between the 24hr experience of trying to balance being s mother of s child or children with profoundly different needs, sensitivities and behaviours…and those also shifting as the child reaches puberty AND running a home, working, negotiating with healthcare and education providers, form filling, long phone searches trying to find suitable carers who are free at the times your child needs that support, wondering if you can get round the supermarket fast, without your child running off and risking heading past those doors into the dark and busy car park. And the times when you get Civid or a cold, or hit the menopause…and the well meaning voice says! therapy will help, or try tibetan gongs, or massage, or…
    My daughter is now 12 years into her journey with twin sons one of whom has autism and developmental, learning and physical challenges, and the other who is bright, artistic, funny, verbally quicksilver but with difficulties in managing reading and writing. And oh the courage every day takes. So a big salute to the quiet courage of every parent who after years of limited sleep, still does battle for their children every day…and stays as sane, grounded and generous in judgement as you are. What a star. All power to you and the many parents nurturing children with ‘different’ needs.

    1. And I thank you for your kind and thoughtful words of encouragement. Sending virtual hugs and positive vibes your daughter’s way, and the way of anyone on a similar path. I think it’s something other people don’t see even, they get lost in the details of what little they see a mom doing for a kiddo with significant needs and think that is it. But as you said, it’s so much more, every other difficult thing life can throw at a person for every member of the family can still be going on at the same time, and a mother can have to dig deep to find what it takes to care for a child who is self-injuring for several hours a day and maybe care for a terminally ill loved one at the same time, or fill in the blank for any other stressful life theme and happening…all at the same time that parent is negotiating with funding sources or trying to navigate situations that may arise with therapy for any reason. I almost included the song “Everybody Wants You” because pretty much every therapist used to need my help when Tony was a two person job for everybody in therapy, but only the title fit and not the lyrics, lol. It is what is. Thank you again for seeing my experience and being gentle and kind with it. Sending much love your way, <3 Ari

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