To Hannah, My Cherished Daughter and Blogging Partner

I don’t even know how to condense the gratitude of so many years into one post. I was incredulous when the first pregnancy test came back positive, and if memory serves I ended up taking three before I stopped trying to snuff out the tentative hope of holding you in my arms that had been attempting to glow in my heart. Every day I am grateful for you, my sweet child I had come to think might never be.

Thank you, my beautiful daughter, for sharing your your voice and your thoughts on our blog each month. You have my support and unconditional love should you want to take a more extended break from this. And thank you for taking so many of the pictures, especially on the public therapy outings. Your perspective in many things helps me to look at ways I need to improve and grow. I deeply appreciate your courage and example.

Thank you for granting so much grace and patience. I can’t even begin to adequately map out how I felt as you gently told me “It’s not your fault mom, you’re doing the best you can” when we got bogged down in hideous construction traffic for nearly an hour and a half this past Saturday, and I was struggling not to cry as it looked like our special trip to the ballet was going to end with the disappointment of not arriving in time to see the production. Like so many things over the past few years, I felt like I was failing you, and you sat there quietly believing I would not. And when we made it to our seats just before the doors were closed and the curtain was raised, and you turned to me and said you knew we could make it…there will never be enough thank you’s for your faith in every respect.

I am grateful for the love, kindness, and patience you show your brother. You play tickles with him time and time again, you share your concerns if you think a public therapy target might be too hard for his sensory issues, you care tremendously about his feelings, you sacrifice so much without complaint, and you are just amazingly sweet to him. And I am so thankful for all the times you have stepped in to help with the cart at the store when Tony was having a hard time, for helping clean up the mud on the chair at therapy when he slipped in a puddle, and for thousands of moments just like this. Oh how I wish I could give you the things you have missed out on as we have had to adjust our circumstances to meet his needs.

You are an amazingly loving and compassionate person. I know we don’t always agree on things, but that will never be necessary for me to cherish and value our time together. You will always be loved, you will always be treasured, and I will always be grateful that you are in our family.

Some Reading to Consider

Make Your Bed, Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe The World, by Admiral William H. McRaven.

You know what, I honestly think anybody could benefit from the wisdom in this book. However, I am recommending it especially with the special needs parent in mind. On this path, there are many challenges and far too many “sharks”. You will learn from the gift of your child that it is the “size of a heart that matters,” and that from this moment on everyone in your family will get to spend time being a “sugar cookie.” But in the words of the author, “Never, ever quit!”

“Paying For My Special-Needs Child,” by Jeff Howe

This article gives a bit of insight into the financial challenges that can confront parents of special-needs kiddos, however many people (including myself) won’t be blessed with as many resources as the author had at the time the piece was written. I have read some sad articles on disabilities related expenses for families, including couples considering divorce so that they would qualify for medicaid because even the cost of their yearly deductible towards medical bills was more than the family could afford. I think this article though gives a great overall picture of the costs that can confront families of individuals on the Spectrum. I think it is important for extended family members and friends to know this information also to avoid hurt feelings, especially where there is a tradition for group gift giving or other expenses that may be more than the family of a disabled kiddo can now bear. I have provided a link here: http://time.com/money/2793944/paying-for-my-special-needs-child/