My friends and loved ones, I nearly sent out a notice today saying I was taking the next few weeks off so that I could focus on surviving the holidays. There has been so much going on, I’ve been fighting through seasonal allergies that brought the gift of mild sinus irritation… and I am just plain tired. Our holiday schedule is usually overly ornamented without these additional demands on our kleenex supply or the time required for writing about a few of our happenings.

However, as I thought about all of the things that have been happening over the past few months and how much I am already behind in writing about, I decided I was definitely going to continue typing on through the holidays. Indeed, Chris, Tony’s super patient speech therapist, hasn’t even made it onto these pages since he started about 10 months ago. We haven’t gotten around to talking about the still ongoing process we’ve been engaged in for getting a new speech device approved (we’re six months into that already and the end is not in sight yet), nor have we gotten into Neurologic Music Therapy updates. OT hasn’t seen the screen lighting of these pages for months either. Truthfully, there’s a much longer list of updates I want to delve into, and things always seem to crop up unexpectedly that merit a few words.

We’re not starting out at any of those places yet though. Having opened up last month’s writings with what it can mean to raise a child with limited risk assessment or impulse control, I think it is important to talk about some of the strategies we are using to help keep our little man safe. Because Tony’s delays in this area are severe, nearly every aspect of our life is touched by the need for modifications, and this topic therefore must be spread out over a few different posts. This week I am going to discuss providing for safety during transportation.

In an effort to inhibit the length of this post, I am going to limit my explanations of why these safety measures are necessary as much as possible. This requires a stripped down statement that asks you to understand that if we’ve done something, it is because our sweet son isn’t capable of acting with the level of safety required for car rides to be handled any other way.

On the most basic level, we have to employ the driver side control button that prevents him from using his window controls. We also need to use the child protector switch on the passenger door closest to him- this prevents him from being able to unlock and open the door while the car is driving or stopped (and both issues are a huge safety concern for our little man). We also have a laminated card that sits in our front windshield that provides Tony’s diagnoses and safety risks for emergency medical professionals should we be involved in a car accident that renders me unable to communicate for whatever reason.

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Our family is constantly on the go for therapy or other purposes, and at seven years old, Tony is still in need of a five point restraint system at all times during transit. For families with this need, often the options on the market aren’t cheap. This is a sampling of a few of the car seat offerings on the market:

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As you will notice, they are significantly pricier than your average toddler car seat and for at least one of these seats, our son is already near the maximum weight capacity. We ended up testing out a cheaper option with Tony (an adjustable zipper vest harness with seat belt loop) that is produced by eSpecial Needs, LLC. I ordered our first one while Tony was still able to fit into the car seat he was about to grow out of. Please note, the price is different based on size and the current pricing is now slightly higher than what we paid for the same size. Purchasing the vest while he was still able to fit in his old car seat gave us time to purchase a more expensive option if I felt the harness did not meet our safety needs. I say “first” because we have since had to purchase our second about 15 months after that original harness…part of the price tag for having a kiddo with Sotos who grows a wee bit quicker than a typically developing child of his age.

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This harness requires a specialized tether mount that clips onto the back of the vest and uses the car seat mounting latches for our car. A seat belt buckle cover is also recommended for children with difficulty remembering safety instructions. These covers, called BuckleRoos, prevent the seat belt from being disengaged unless a key or Popsicle stick is inserted into a small opening at the top of the cover. For our initial order, we only purchased one tether mount and BuckleRoo, as we were uncertain about whether or not the vest would provide for adequate transportation safety. Once we ascertained that we felt like the harness provided adequate protection for Tony, we ordered a second tether mount and BuckleRoo to install in Andy’s car so that our son could be transported safely in either vehicle.

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Andy and I both went with Tony on the original test drive with the harness. This was meant to ensure that our little man could be kept safe if there was a concern with the vest. We made any adjustments we felt were necessary to the fit of the harness after this initial outing. Having used one of these for about 15 months now, I can say I think they are a great option provided a parent consistently checks to ensure the appropriate fit of the vest. Ours was well made and has held up to Tony chewing on it and pretty heavy use. We are out driving with it nearly every day of the week. Initially, he was pretty upset about the vest because it was different from what he was used to, so he needed to be offered treats to calmly put it on. Now he will grab it himself anytime he wants to go somewhere. If we are parked near a busier street, we may put on the harness in the store, etc. instead of outside our vehicle.

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While Tony prefers to sit next to a window, we did have to move his tether mounts to the center seat location because he started smacking the window with his hands. He’s now tall enough that he can reach the window even from the center, though he’s not close enough to use as much force. Emily sits back with him when we are doing public therapy and takes his movie away for a brief period of time when he tries to hit the glass, and this behavior is greatly reduced. Once it has been eliminated for a period of time, we will try letting him sit by the window again. Should his attempts to hit the window resume as he gains strength, we may need to replace the window with something like plexiglass (a durable, see through plastic).

Self-harming in the car was a problem that we also used Emily’s help to curb. She would take away his movie for five minutes after any attempts to do so as he sat in the backseat, and for the past few months now there is only one occasion I can think of where he tried to smack his own head.

As we exit the vehicle, someone opens the door for Tony, gets him out of the harness, and gives him reminders for any safety instructions he needs to follow for the location. When we still owned a minivan, one of our biggest concerns about getting out of the car were Tony’s attempts to stick his hand in the door as it was closing. To help him understand the risks involved with this, I took several pieces of paper and drew hands, approximating his size and skin tone. I would then block him from the door and let the door close on one of these drawings, pointing out how it ripped when it got caught in the door. I explained to him that his hand also could be damaged if he stuck it in the door. This is another area where he is doing significantly better at remembering the risks, because it has been many months since the last time he tried to put his hand between the closing door and car body.

I know this was a lot of information just for one area of safety, but for families such as ours, the risks for scrimping on these details is very real…and with far too high a cost from every angle of the issue. Both of our children are equally precious and we do whatever it takes to the best of our ability to keep them safe.