Tony

I want each of you to think about what it would be like to spend 12-13 hours a day working on the subjects you were worst at- the ones you struggled to understand and filled you with dislike at best, dread at worst. And then you have to live through the feelings that come with knowing these things aren’t struggles for most people…and yes, our son absolutely does recognize that. That is what the experience of living can feel like for an individual with Tony’s level of developmental delays. I could not be more grateful and more proud of the fact that Tony has worked so hard on things he hates to do so much. Any progress we have takes more than just the therapists or my time and work…it takes Tony partnering with us. And I am thankful every day he is my son.

A Quick-ish Note

A few months ago, I tried to do a therapy restructuring that would have resulted in me having a little bit more personal time. And then almost immediately got handed in a way some circumstances that necessitated me personally taking on all 30 of our son’s weekly hab hours…which means my combined therapy schedule with him is still about 60 hours a week. My brain is just melty at this point, literally my emotions are in “The Kill” zone, rasping out “what if I wanted to fight/beg for the rest of my life…” and I just don’t have the option or the time to do so.

So, it’s possible that to give myself a bit of breathing room over the next few months while we are working our way through the holidays, there could be shorter posts with just one of my poems, a small ramble about makeup, or there could be a post about therapy work or some of my other health experiences. I used to plan out my topics so they were mostly cohesive, but right now I just can’t devote much energy to that and sometimes it just could seem a little bit random for a bit longer. Random as in “look at all the cute geckos climbing around on the side of our front porch entry way last night after our therapy walk” kind of random…because geckos are just so stinking cute 😀

Some Reading & Viewing To Consider

We may as well call this section “Margie Made Me”- although really she didn’t, I chose to experience these items because she had mentioned them and I like to be as present and informed in conversations as possible. I am very grateful she chats with me, but aside from that, I felt like they are relevant to things that I focus on or am interested in, so I am sharing them here with you guys 🙂

Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes

This book is an expansion of a fictional short story by the author, and consists of journal entries for a young man (Charlie) with intellectual disability who undergoes an experimental procedure that temporarily expands his mental acuity beyond that of those who designed the procedure itself. By using journal entries as his plot delivery device, the author allows us to more readily place ourselves in Charlie’s position. I don’t know that I personally agree with all of the conclusions- for example, it is presented that those around Charlie are rejecting him because of his arrogance when he is at what is considered his peak mental performance.

I think sometimes people often perceive the same actions or words very differently if they feel like someone is in the same circumstances as they are than if they feel like the other person is not. For example, when I was a size 20, I could repeat something I knew about health and nutrition to another overweight person and they didn’t feel judged. Once I was a size 8, that same statement to that same person left them feeling like I had criticized their weight, when in fact I had not nor was that what I was trying to imply. Otherwise, I do think this book is a thought provoking read.

An Inspector Calls, 2015 BBC version

This is a movie version of a play where the dialogue is given faithfully, but I felt like the ability to see and hear the emotions as rendered by the performers delivers an emotional richness that accentuates the full impact of this play. The plot follows a family being interviewed by an inspector after the suicide of a young woman and ultimately asks each of us to contemplate the ripples made by every word and action flowing from us.

And, before we go: “let’s talk about Tarte, baby…”

This is the part where some of you might want to just say “peace out” on the rest of this post unless you also are a purchaser of make up. Typically, for bigger brands I like to wait until something goes on sale or clearance before I get it. However, there was a recent Tarte release ( the Maneater After Dark palette) which I noticed did not make it onto their website and right now is only at Ulta. Which has me thinking it’s possibly limited edition and may not make it to being discounted. And, when I was doing public therapy in there recently with Tony…there was only 1 left. So…I ended up buying it for me (please don’t judge me, I literally know I did not need this and that I could probably benefit from a 12 step program for makeup) but we’re talking about this because I know some of you might have your interest and attention drawn to it because of the more neutral autumnal tones with a couple pops that make it seem appealing for holiday wear approaching Christmas.

So, what I like about Tarte’s formula is that for a powdered shadow, it tends to be more forgiving on an aging eye. I am 46, so that definitely is a bonus for anyone in my age range or above. That being said, I have noticed that the mattes can fade some with their shadows- even if you apply it to a wet high quality eye shadow primer. In the picture below, fading has already occurred and I don’t even have my mascara on yet. However, the bottom picture is right before I put this post up, which is a few hours later, and as you can see, the level of fading would really only be detectable to someone who put the eyeshadow on and knew what it had looked like right after application. I know some of you prefer more muted or professional looks, and for those types of looks I don’t think this level of fading will bother you. Definitely if I personally am wanting this to last multiple walks in the heat and need to care about how I am going to look come 8 pm this is not the formula I personally am reaching for. But for someone working mostly indoors…I doubt that’s going to be too much of an issue.

The next thing I want to draw your attention to is the embossing on the more foiled shimmers in this palette, which is raised far more than is typically seen in eye shadows. This is, in my opinion, a bit of a problem because if you are wanting to rub a brush, your finger, or a sponge tip applicator on these to pick up product for use, it crumbles off chunks of eye shadow. Which I definitely find to be undesirable, though I do really like the quality of the shimmers in this palette. So you would need to be very careful and just rub along the tops of the raised parts until they wear down…which is annoying to me personally, but not a deal breaker.

So…for those of you giving it the eyeball on your next trip to Ulta, those are the things I would want you to keep in mind before you picked up your wallet. If neither of those things bothers you, I say happy shopping on this one neutral lovers 😉 Much love, Ari