I started watching Therapy In A Nutshell’s Anxiety series for the same reason I decided now was an awesome time to retry CBD and see if I had lost my sensitivity: Bank of America’s Fraud response. I was starting to have panic attacks in the middle of the night, struggling to sleep, and it was rippling every where throughout my day. Just to sum up, the first rep who promised me the account would be closed and marked fraud didn’t actually mark it as confirmed fraud and I found out near the end of March it was still a pending account. I do try to keep my finger on the pulse of my mental health and make rapid adjustments if needed to self-rescue, and I am familiar with her content and generally find it high quality.

Something she discussed in one of her videos is something I wish every medical provider who treats allergies, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, or POTS really understood on a level that impacted their interactions with their patients:

“Sometimes a physical medical issue…these show up looking exactly like the symptoms of a psychological anxiety disorder. And sometimes the best way to treat anxiety is to actually treat these underlying physical conditions first [and she goes on to mention that when fully treated in many people all symptoms that could look like disordered anxiety go away]…but most people, doctors included, often focus their treatments on just therapy or just medication (for anxiety)…and then sometimes anxiety, even extreme anxiety, isn’t disordered. Someone could show up to a therapist’s office or a doctor or the ER with clear symptoms of anxiety, and it’s not going to be helpful to treat the anxiety first because the issue is really something else all together.” – Emma McAdam, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

She goes on to mention allergies and POTS (or any condition that causes a lot of inflammation in the body) in addition to multiple other conditions and if she had been in the room, I would have hugged her for it. For me in particular, my body tends to produce a lot of adrenaline in response to anything I have allergic reactions to. My environmental pollen allergies alone had the nurse at my allergist telling me I need to wear a hazmat suit (that part was a joke) and shower and change my clothes any time I got back home after leaving the house (that part wasn’t). When I went into anaphylaxis a few years ago, my body’s response was on full display because the adrenaline I was producing slowed the rate of swelling down but left me unable to stop shaking by the time I was in the urgent care that shipped me off to the ER.

And then that kicked off what became my journey with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and POTS, and if there is any one thing I would want any medical provider to have the time to listen to and understand it was what that experience felt like. My memory was immediately impacted, which was super disorienting for me. I was constantly having allergic reactions to stuff that I didn’t used to within the first couple weeks, which only added to the adrenaline spikes. And then y’all remember that time I tried Lexapro that summer after this happened? My adrenaline production didn’t decrease and my anxiety got worse. Because I wasn’t following my allergist’s recommendations for how much antihistamine I should be taking after the last round of testing because it was too hard for me to function mentally on that much.

After that, I started doing better about taking more…but even on the max dosing he had recommended for me, I was till having break through reactions, which likely means my symptoms weren’t fully managed. Having that much adrenaline pumping through your system creates a near constant state of fight or flight. And that’s without the POTS, that definitely makes it worse. There were moments where as I was struggling to navigate all of this I felt like providers were really minimizing my symptoms and wanting to just brush everything off as poorly controlled mental health due to my circumstances. I found it upsetting, and those kinds of reactions make it harder for me to want to go into a doctor’s office even when I need to or should.

I have had to work so very hard to find ways to manage all of that in the face of all of the stressors that our life holds. Because I still have no problem also saying that when someone is dealing with everything I have dealt with privately or talked about publicly, then we can talk about whether or not any stress that appears to show through on the surface is disordered. Some things it’s perfectly normal to not feel good going through and to feel fearful or anxious when you are first experiencing them. My closest friends have told me they think I handle everything with grace, and I am grateful they see that in me.

So to Emma, from me to you, hugs. Thank you for stating so explicitly that medical conditions can cause states that look like anxiety to a medical provider but actually really aren’t. And I would like to add that even when a person is fearful, especially with allergies or Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, they have good reason to feel that way. I know I just drank a tea with an ingredient I’ve never had before, and as I’m typing this, I have no idea how my body is going to react to it because it’s uncommon enough it doesn’t appear on allergy tests in my area. I don’t have the same confidence a person without my history of allergies or without Mast Cell Activation Syndrome might have that this is going to be completely uneventful and just a treat for the taste buds.

In an unrelated note, I asked my PCP to run my liver enzymes to see how those were doing in light of my decision to continue using CBD and make sure I am adequately spacing the doses between my other meds. The results came back great. For me, the CBD so far has been life altering. Within the first three days, the amount of adrenaline in my system was so reduced…it was easy for me to recognize that the risk for me is worth it because of the benefits in improving the management of my condition with fewer medications that have come. I’m down to two antihistamines and eye drops and doing better than I was before I started the CBD with significantly higher amounts of antihistamine, and it’s peak allergy season for me. Still not needing caffeine eye patches. So, even though Bank of America’s fraud response may have started me off on this journey from a more negative space, I feel like it’s given me more good than bad at this point because of how CBD has improved the management of my symptoms and I’m just grateful to be where I am at right now and I have so much hope that the good things will keep coming from this. Next up, hopefully, maybe (if my allergist thinks it’s a good idea) allergy shots!

I did find an article on Harvard Health Publishing (CBD and other medications, proceed with caution…click article title for a link) that gives a link to 57 medications you shouldn’t take together with CBD. Mine aren’t on that list (but yours might be, so check it first before trying anything), so…any medication or substance going into the body is a risk technically for anybody, and at this point I’m willing to take carefully thought out and managed ones when they bring this much hope. But that is my choice for me, anybody else with these conditions needs to make the best choices for them after consulting their own providers and considering how their body reacts to things.