Trust me, I know. When I talk about makeup, it’s off topic. Most people who visit my blog don’t come here to read about my makeup, what I do, how I do it, or why I do it. But sometimes we still talk about it anyways.

Because sometimes, the more constructive words that I would want to spill out of me about everything that is going on here (especially for the very nonconstructive happenings that are so much harder to frame that way in any manner) are cumbered with darker emotions, feelings of pain, betrayal, abandonment, and a whole bunch of other very human, very natural under the circumstances feelings. So I talk about random things until I can keep things strictly about the facts and not about my feelings. Today friends, I am not going to lie. I’m not feeling constructive.

So, we’re going to talk about makeup. Because even when I feel like a black hole wants to form on the inside, I try to bring some light and balance into my world by doing things I normally enjoy, like playing piano or doing my makeup. Really the depth of what I have felt this past month has blocked the light of even vibrant colors and glitters from reaching my soul, but I know someday all of this will if I keep at it, so I still grab my brushes and palettes each day and go through the motions. Some days it’s simple, some days it’s not. Some days it’s well blended, some days it’s not. But it’s me and part of how I cope, and this is some of what I’ve been doing in even the moments that have felt darker this past month.