To Miss Rachel, for Patience and Kindness to Our Son
Rachel’s period working with our family as Tony’s occupational therapist was brief. However, she recognized something that is easy to miss when a kiddo looks a lot like everyone else on the outside but functions very differently on the inside- that our little man was doing the very best he can. I will always be grateful for that, because she showered him with patience and praise.
I was also appreciative that she noticed Tony’s love of softer fabrics and always tried to wear her softest shirts in when working with him. Because he was drawn to touching softer fabrics, he was also more open to letting her work in his personal space so that he could rub his hands on the bottom of her shirts, so I thought it was really quite brilliant of her. I also really thought one of her toys that she brought in to try and work on his wrist mobility was pretty cool. I also appreciated her insights on what kind of school she thought Tony would do best in when he’s ready for that next step. Though her time on our therapy team may have been brief, I will always be grateful for the ways she touched our lives with kindness and support.
Some Reading To Consider
Odd Girl Out, by Laura James
Typically, I try to visit the blogs of other bloggers who visit our blog. I am a bit behind on that at this point since I’m getting thoroughly smashed to a pulp by my schedule right now, however I read a review for this book on 21andsensory a couple of months ago that convinced me to give it a try. The following thoughts on the book reflect my impressions after I finished it. The author of the book itself, Laura James, is a successful journalist and entrepreneur who was diagnosed with Autism as an adult- specifically, Asperger’s. The author points out in her book that many higher functioning Autistic women often go without being diagnosed because they are better able to copy mannerisms of their more neurotypical peers.
For me, this was a very interesting book to read. There were some things that I wholeheartedly agreed with the author on (I absolutely loved her take on social white lies for example), and others I found my opinions to be respectfully divergent. The author quotes Dr. Gould in this book as saying “There are a lot of Autisms…often they won’t know the person is autistic, so I will ask if there’s anyone in the family who may be very successful but is rather unusual or different.”
Now, I’m about to fall off the bluntness tree here, but to me, sometimes it seems like the quest for codifying so many social differences in others as a medical condition has become a scientifically sanctified celebration of group think, where we are ever narrowing the range of the category of what is considered by society to be desirable behavior. What ostensibly could be used to promote understanding can also be used for much darker purposes, as history has shown. “Unusual” and “different” are simply another “spice” in the variety of life- they certainly don’t prevent someone from leading a highly successful and meaningful life. In fact, they often lead to innovations that benefit everyone.
Were I an otherwise highly successful adult who suspected she may be on the Aspergers end of the spectrum, I would not choose the path of evaluation but I have to respect that there is value in this process for some. My thought process would be that I already have a label, and it’s called my given name. I think humanity can be enough of a label for us all, and in my experience having enough characteristics to share a categorical description doesn’t guarantee commonality of thought or success in social bonding…but sometimes I just have my own way of viewing the world, and other people need to be able walk the path that feels right for them. For the author, she was grateful to have the diagnosis process as an option in her life, I am glad it brought her meaning and a context she was looking for, and I find her perspective to be very interesting and definitely worth a read.