March Gratitude
If I’m having the most honest moment I can have right now, I’d say today is a day where my brain is struggling to marshal enough external focus to write, internally those neurons are dancing away listening to Karol G’s latest single on repeat. Even though my desire to focus is definitely on strike right now, I cannot forget that I still have much to be thankful for. One truth here must be honored above all others right now: without the help of our son’s case manager from Arizona Children’s Association, we would likely still be on the hunt for an ABA provider.
To respect the privacy of everyone involved, this person remains unnamed here. But my gratitude cannot be so. Anonymous on-line but not in my heart, for what you have done, you have my deepest and most sincere appreciation. Thank you <3
Some Reading/Viewing To Consider (links where applicable in titles):
Many of us have probably already seen at least the headlines about this story, but this was the first one I personally read about it which identified this child as having a disability with an IEP that stipulated the family was expected to be present in school to help manage the behaviors of their child, something which did not happen the day of the shooting. As a child who has struggled with behaviors that many feel should rightfully have excluded him from participation within the community, behaviors which have been greatly improved by years of consistent therapeutic effort, if I could cherry pick some quotes from it that I would want everyone to dig deeply within themselves to ponder it would be these:
-“Students-who often are students with disabilities- are put on a track of essentially exclusion.”
– “Both Knackstedt and Malhar Shah, staff attorney at the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund, said it was highly unusual that parents would be accompanying a child to class rather than that role falling to staff members provided and trained by the school district.”
-“Few would advocate removing all disciplinary measures, but giving teachers tools other than suspension and expulsion is an important step, they say.”
Those tools can only come with adequate funding. Appropriate support staff for individuals with developmental disability can only come with adequate funding. Recent reporting from ABC 15 mentions that in Arizona, teacher shortages in special education are especially acute, and low pay levels that have not kept pace with the cost of living are, in my opinion, at the heart of all of that. But it’s not just teachers that are needed, it’s adequate support in aid and therapists for special education teachers. As always, I ask each of my readers when thinking about how to engage within these matters in the community to ask themselves how they would want their children cared for if they had any of the circumstances described in this article as theirs to navigate.
The first visit I had to the ER after developing symptoms for POTS, they kept asking me if I was sure I wasn’t just having anxiety given my circumstances (despite the fact that we could all see my heart rate was going down when laying down, nothing else changing about my circumstances). I think it’s important to spread awareness for this condition, especially amongst women who are both more likely to be diagnosed with POTS and more likely to be misdiagnosed with anxiety before getting a proper diagnosis. If the heart rate you have is 30 beats per minute or more higher when you are standing up than it is when you are laying down, I recommend making that part of the discussion you have with a cardiologist for an evaluation.
How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius, by Donald Robertson
This week alone I described my current circumstances as life flying at my like a stress-raging kegger and a dumpster fire of stress. I think that feeling can be common when you have a kiddo or a loved one with extensive care needs, especially when life brings you your own medical mazes to navigate at the same time, or your car engine is burning through the rings, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. This book weaves together some stoic philosophy, history as it applies to how Marcus Aurelius used it to navigate stressors in his life, and some cognitive behavioral therapy practices that mirror stoic practices. I find so much of this to be of value and useful when confronting the difficulties of life.
Ok, I think the title perhaps would be better stated as a VIEW about anxiety, I do not feel I can with any confidence sell anything as the one truth about it. Nonetheless, I found his ideas to be interesting, and I loved the breathing technique he mentioned. I do think some of how we react to stress in the now can certainly be amplified by echoes from the past, and it is a powerful step in helping moments in the now feel more manageable to recognize the where and the when of that.
Cambia este hábito y cambiarás toda tu vida, Johnny Abraham TEDx talk
And, for my Spanish speaking loved ones, this is one of my favorite TED talks I have listened to this past month. I believe what he is talking about is of value to anyone, however, so perhaps maybe English captions could make this doable for anyone else who is curious. This speaker’s talk is based around the idea that as a person thinks, that is how they act, and how they are acting is how their life goes. I loved an example he used to describe how powerful, limiting, and incorrect our own thoughts can be. He speaks of how an elephant is trained when they are very small that the chain that holds them can’t be broken. But as they grow physically bigger and stronger with age, they never try because they believe what was once true in their younger life, and so that chain that could be easily broken as an adult if they try can hold them there still. So this then, is a talk about changing habitual thought patterns when needed or desired. I love also that he recommends really working at developing a new habit of thought by focusing on making those changes over a 90 day period, I think the more time a desired behavior is focused on and used, the more strength it can have as a habit.
